March 18, 2016
I went back to the dentist yesterday. The puss pocket is finishing. I am still on anti-biotics to kill the rest of it. I still have a cavity that needs work. The dentist wanted to give me three root canals and a bunch of fillings and told me Brad Labreque’s was shit. I am not going back to her. I will have a dentist at Apollo do the work.
We were up at 5.30 walking. It was still dark. We walked several blocks down Amal Khan Rd. There is a nice park there. We walked around it several times.
When we got back Cara laid down. I had some running around to do so I fucked off. I needed a binder, a memory stick, get some glasses made, scan some shit to self and photocopy all my medical paper work so that the doctors will have copies of everything I have when we meet with them. It will go down like this; go to Apollo and make an appointment, return to Apollo to meet the doctors, discuss my situation and talk about my options. At this point I do not want any information. I want their team to discuss the options and decide what is best for me. I will return and begin what they say.
I have been so tired. I don’t know if it’s because of the flights, chemo or the tumor. I need to change my shirt. I have been wearing it since Kamloops. Five days.
It’s getting hot in Delhi. Maybe 33-35. I can attest that another 10 degrees is hell in India, especially Delhi. The mornings are nice, maybe 13 to 15 degrees.
My morning to do list was unproductive. It was too early. Everything was still closed. I hang out with Mr. Singh and waited for Manish for a half hour or so. He didn’t show so I went back to the room. I trekked out again around 11.30 and sure enough everything was open. Missions accomplished partly. I didn’t get all the photocopying done. I left some shit at the room. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. It’s too hot how. I need to get to the ATM tomorrow.
Cara’s back has been killing her.
My head has pounding today. But I have spent a lot of time in the sun running around. I have not been drinking enough water or sleeping. I did call Jeff last night but ran out of minutes. So the call was dropped. I think we said what had to be said.
We are at the nicest hotel in Karol Bagh, Swaran Palace. It’s a four star. The food costs just as much as it does in Canada.
We arrived at the Swaran Palace for lunch at about 1.00. I was spent from the 5.30am exercise to finishing running around at 12.30. I needed a beer. Water would have been a better choice.
I miss Malala (the Land Rover).
Cara is reading. I have turned her on to a book written by Mark Tulley. He was a BBC correspondent for over a decade living in Delhi in 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. He has seen a lot. His writing is quite good except he occasionally uses words that one has to look up to understand trying to be prentious. If he was that sophisticated his writing would be peppered with words I’d have to look up.
Tulley’s knowledge of India’s current affairs great. He expands on several subjects I had little knowledge of but knew that existed.
I am concerned that the doctors here may not want to treat me. I do not have a medical visa. I know that this was a small problem at BLK when I had my MCL repaired a couple of years ago. My brother Subash whom has a business whereas he is a go between with foreigners pulled some strings. I had previously helped Subash with wording on his website. He works primarily with BLK so I don’t know if he has pull at Apollo. I want to do the Apollo thing by myself. Anything is possible in India. But it’s getting not so.
My head is pounding I do have some pain killers that then dentist provided. I am against narcotics. I know that I will get my fill of this shit at the end. I don’t want to be dependant until then.
It’s a different world when you know how and approximately you’ll end. No one knows of this. Sometimes I wonder “If I know why not end it on my terms”.
Of course, this would affect too many people. Cara is the exception. We have spoken many many hours on this subject. We are ready at any time. We have decided that when there seems to be no exceptions it will be done. We have not discussed how but it will allow for an open casket.
I will be alone Cara wants to be there but I don’t want her to become a sati. And if it’s just her and I she will defiantly become one.
It has to be in Canada. In the mountains.
Anyone reading this must be stunned. I would be if it were an others hand making the marks.
I am not anyone.
Religion follows me to understand why.
In re-reading what I have written some must think I am mad.
I must learn the game of cricket. I have thought about it for several years and for several years I have wanted to visit our 1977 encyclopedia set rather than the internet. I don’t know why.
Cara has gone back to the room to read. It’s 4.30. its been a huge day for me. Like I wrote previously I am not sure if it’s because of the antibiotics, the jet lag or the tumor.
I am done with blaming everything on “the tumor”. It’s too easy. Fuck that. But there will be a time whereas the word “blame” can no longer be used. Who decides this point of time? This “change” from what is now and what is going to be. Only me.
Only me. This blows goats, goat boy, SNL blaahu, fuckin royal! So what was the question? Oh yes, the one no one knows the answer to the change.