Misfits Cruise, Part Five
Jan 26, 2014
|PART FIVE A Serious Problem Arises
Sugar has been secretly spying on the group and provides a steady stream of information to Doc, for inclusion in the story.
She usually begins the new information with the comment, “You aren’t going to believe this”.
She told Doc that Running Bare had tried on his formal outfit, consisting of a thong, or Speedo, and a Tie. She said that, because of the cold weather here, he had goose bumps the size of golf balls.
When Shots saw his outfit, she joined a shopping expedition to locate and purchase another tie for him.
She said the other one was “Way too short!”
I’m pretty sure she was referring to the Tie!
A serious problem arose shortly before the cruise.
I received a letter from The Enforcer, offering his resignation.
Here is the letter:
“I come with a heavy heart. Just a few shorts days before the cruise, but I must resign my position as The Enforcer. Saucy built up our supply of Nair. In checking our inventory I realized that there are no spray cans of Nair in our supply only hand lotion type application available.
I must draw the line somewhere! There is no way I can bring myself to put that stuff on Running Bare by hand. Not his head, not his back and certainly not his "nether parts". All of which was doable from 2-3ft by spray can.
Hopefully you all understand the dilemma created by our current inventory of the product. You say "just go buy more". Well Saucy and I are retired and on a fixed income since I lost my security job at Walmart. I did not mean to shoot that old woman but she hit me with her shopping cart.”
It was signed “The Enforcer”
Running Bare didn’t help any when he sent this note to The Enforcer in regards to the Nair issue:
“Just put it in your hand, close your eyes and I'll rub against your hand”
I quickly made an effort to resolve the issue with this reply to The Enforcer:
“Your resignation is not accepted, but perhaps a lawn mower or barber clippers may be used in place of Nair.”
Then, remembering that we would be on a cruise ship,
“Perhaps a large pair of tin snips, not too sharp, could be used. Sheep shears would be a nice tool.
You may choose your weapon, or tool.
Have a good one!”
Then a simple but effective idea popped up.
“If you can catch him, UBI can WAX him!
No Nair needed!
UBI got in on the act with this following note, concerning using the Nair.
“If it should be of any assistance, I have a paint roller and an extension handle. In fact if you did not want to look, you could wear blinders and Running Bare could just step into the roller and spin around. I am sure this will work because I have tried this process on Spicy“.
Hope you are enjoying the story so far.
Remember dear readers, Life is Good!