Highly classified government secret unveiled!May 19, 2011
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Dandelions taking over the world!
To your right and to your left - they are everywhere!
The mutants in closer view!
Definite proof of mutancy!
| It has come to my attention that we all better hope that May 21st really is the end of the world, or perhaps we might undergo a worse event when the dandelions decide to make their move to take over the world. Now you might wonder why I feel this way. Well just take a look at my world! I'm knee deep in dandelions in every direction, and it doesn't seem to be stopping! I've got two reasons why it is the dandelions we should be fearing. 1st they've definitely got mutant genes in them, just look at the size of those I secretly (undercover of course!) photographed in the early morning hours. Compared to my watering can, those suckers are growing like - ....well WEEDS!! And the government refuses to cut them down! They are not just in my location, they are popping up in everyone's locations unbeknownst to homeowners, in the dead of the night, ready to take over the world. 2ndly I have sources that indicate that those rain clouds you've been seeing for the last month are not natural rain clouds, but have been seeded to give the dandelions a head start on spring. Another government conspiracy! So people, arm yourself with hoes and weed killers - we need to organize and use all our combined intelligence to take over these savage killers who suck the life out of our wonderful green lawns and therefore our lives! Once we get the dandelions controlled, next we tackle the giant ants that seem to be invading my world! |
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