Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
May 31, 2008
|It’s been a month since I left home, I have to say, I miss home terribly. Many nights, I had found myself sitting in the living room or hiding under my blanket crying. I had a hard time holding back my tears while I journal, pray or even talk about home with the people around here. I really dislike this feeling, so I started to ask God: are you sure this is where you want me to be and this is what you want me to do?
Thinking back on the life I had while I was in LA, I had taken advantage of everything for too long. Never thought too much about when I had them, and now when I don’t have them, that’s when I realize how much I appreciate them. For example, I would never run out of clean clothes to wear. When my clothes get dirty (or not even dirty), I just throw them into the washer. After it’s done washing, I throw them into the dryer. It’s my clothes that is waiting for me to wear them and never the other way around. But it’s different here. Since I didn’t pack a lot of clothes with me, I have to get use to wearing the same clothes for more than two days or wear the “not so clean” clothes.” I can’t wash my clothes that often, and even when I wash them, I don’t have a dryer here. I have to hang them and wait for the sun to dry my clothes. So I have to wait. I have to say, it’s worth the wait!! Never thought how much I would appreciate putting on clean clothes that I just finish washing and drying. This is what God has been trying to teach me. It’s worth the wait to see what He has in store for me.
When it comes to wait upon the Lord, it has not been easy. I have to say though, it’s worth the wait because God knows what is the best for me. He wants me to wait upon Him with everything, even with this whole setting up apartment experience.
Setting up a place to live in China has been hard, because the previous owner who lived there before me didn’t really take good care of the apartment. So I’ll have to do all the repairing and cleaning before I can even move in. If Cinderella’s story was real, I now know what it’s like to be Cinderella, and I would hope I had all these animal friends to help me clean. But I think my story is way better than Cinderella’s story, because God provided real people to help me with my apartment instead of animals. Each one of them has different strength.
This has been a very good learning experience for me as I work with different people (both internationals and locals). I remember at the beginning, I was overwhelmed with everything I had to do for the apartment. I got so frustrated and I didn’t know what to do. That night I went home and wrote in my journal: What is this? You gave me an apartment, but I have so much to do. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MOVE IN!! Then I felt that the Lord was telling me to read my old journal entry. I turned to the first page of my journal and the first line I had there was: I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO TO CHINA. I had written that while I was still in LA waiting for all my paperwork to be finished. I thought to myself, this is taking forever, I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to China. Yet, here I am in China trying to set up an apartment. What does this mean? Then I realized God is trying to remind me, what is impossible with men is possible with God (Lk 18:27). As I thought I am going nowhere, I have been reminded that this is just the beginning of a wonderful journey that God has planned for me. He doesn’t want me to do much. All He wants me to do is have Him walk in front of me, and wait for Him.
God is good. He took care of everything for me. From finding an apartment to going to the right places for the appliances, not only did He provide everything I need but He also allowed me to get them for a reasonable price. Another thing He wants me to remember, that is to slow down. It’s ok to have nothing to do but to talk to people because I am here to build relationship with others.
Back to my question for God: are you sure this is where you want me to be and this is what you want me to do? After seeing and reflecting on what He has done in my life for the last month, I know the answer very clearly: yes, my child, this is where I want you to be. And I will be with you every step of the way if you let me walk in front of you.
People from all over China are trying to help out with the Sichuan earthquake
Found an apartment within the first week and sign the contract for the next 3 years
New community & family here in Dali
New friends I made while shopping for my apartment
The beautiful weather
A beautiful park I’ve discovered for my evening walk with God
Wal-Mart!! It opened on March 27, right before I came
The Sichuan earthquake victims
Adjustment: high altitude, living on my own, getting to know the area, bathroom, etc.
Focus on the people & process, not the result
Know and believe that no matter where I am, I am love by friends and family
Be thankful no matter what the situation is