Decide to hire a bicycle and explore Bantayan a bit, having a very good burger for brunch at the disappointingly non-sleazy Hard Kock Kafe. As I pedal around through the various barangays (villages/municipal districts), I high five some of the kids, responding to the innumerable 'Hey Jo's' that everyone under 16 flings my way with a smile and a wave. On I go, through the smoke of roadside foodstalls selling the ubiquitous skewers of meat, past groups lounging in nipa huts and shelters. It's a national holiday today, but have to admit that I'm hard pushed to tell the difference, as Filipinos seem to treat every day like one. I stop to go into a cemetery, the dead buried in tombs ranging from sepulchres to deposit boxes and then end up in large town which I eventually find out is Bantayan Town and I realise that I must have taken a turn off somewhere as I should be at the other end of the island. After a bit more aimless pedaling trying to find the way back to Santa Fe, my saddle-sore arse feeling like it's done ten rounds with John Holmes, eventually find out it's the way I've come from, so now I'm completely disorientated, but back I go until I get to the barangay of Santa Fe, but no familiar places. I want to ask the way, but the only place I can think of is the Hard Kock, and I'm damned if I'm going to ask anyone where I can find that, so persevere and eventually make it back in time for Happy Hour at a very pleasant bar called Cou Cou and gratefully suck down a cold one.
I get chatting to the girl behind the bar, or at least we chat between her giggling with her mate in Cebuano as I catch little bits like 'English' and 'boyfriend'. I tell her and her friend that I'm based in Malapascua (which is about 20kms from here by boat), and I'm a bit taken aback when the friend has to ask someone where it is. Filipinos just don't get the chance to travel, and rarely seem to leave the place they are born in. Decide at this point that I might have to resurrect my fake girlfriend (Laura, 27 years old, works in the City, no kids, very much in love) who I last used when in the Philippines to reduce the awkwardness of situations like this.
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