World Finland Etelä Suomen Helsinki

Nadine and Will's Honeymoon around the world 2009

Finland May 14, 2009

We are rudely awoken at 7am by a knock on the door, we have docked and its time to jump ship! I quickly get up wincing in pain as a series of red hot pokers stab through my skull. I recall the fuzzy image of the clock face when we rolled back into our cabin ~4.15am~.

We get into the car and drive off the boat, pulling straight over to sleep off our hangovers. We pull back the seats and nod off... once again we are rudely awoken, this time its the boys in blue. They explain to us that in Finland its illegal to be in a motorised vehicle of any kind when under the influence of alcohol, motor running or not, and since we are in the port they figured we must have been partying on the boat the night before without much sleep time to soak up the excess booze in our bloodstreams and unfortunately for us, they were absolutely right. Will is, as suspected, over the limit.

I sit in absolute shock and horror as Will is escorted into the back of the paddy wagon. In the drivers seat beside me now sits a very large, very scary looking Scandie copper!!! He drives the car back to the station, the entire time I am blubbering profusely and saying over and over to myself 'We weren't even driving the car! We weren't even driving!' #sob #sniff :( !!

We arrive at the police station. Will is bustled in for a blood test. At this point thinking the whole thing is very funny indeed. I on the other hand, am not quite as amused by the experience. I ask one of the many police officers who are swanning around the office doing very little of anything that looks at all like work, what we can expect to happen now. They tell me he will have to go to court, he will get a fine of somewhere between €400 and €1000 and he will loose his license... a total nightmare for us at the beginning of our road trip around Europe!!! Will trots back in from his blood test, still Mr Happy go lucky with a huge grin on his face, thinking its all very funny... his smiley, happy expression becomes much more somber when I tell him the news.

We sit together on a wooden bench looking on as 6 police officers struggle over Wills documents. In a bout of utter honesty Will has handed over both of his passports and driver licenses, each with a different name to the other. The police scan his paperwork, Will Stanford, William Murzell, William Stanford, Will Murzell Stanford..... oh dear. We start to feel concerned that they are going to think that Will is some sort of international man of mystery or worse... a terrorist.

We eventually start to feel quite parched, the Finnish police not being the best hosts, have not offered us a drink and its been a good few hours of waiting. I ask if I can go get some water, they very nicley allow me to leave through the back door and I quickly return water in hand. I head in the front entrance, a mean young police man is on the customerservice desk. I explain the situation to him, he snarles back 'Your husband is being incarsirated. Wait here' I wait a good hour wondering why I have not yet let been back in to give Will water. I approach the desk again, 'can I just ask, what exactly am I waiting for??' '4 O CLOCK!' he growls 'your husband will be realised from his cell at 4' Again I burst into tears, this is all too much!!! Cell? Incarsirated? When did this happen?? What the hell is going on!!!

I run out of the station, tears streaming down my face. I decide to go sit in the car... angry, frustrated, confused, emotional, scared, tired and hungover is probably not the best demenour for being in a police station... I might yell at someone and get arrested too!! ;) I look at the time, its 10am, we are supposed to be meeting Heikki in an hour for a tour around the town of Turku! What a debarklbe!! I nod off to sleep...

Bang! bang! bang! I wake with a start, its Heikki at the car window!! 'Hello!' he chimes 'nice morning so far?' :) He has been to the policestation already and thanks to his Finnish-ness was allowed in to ensure that everything was kosher and Will understood his rights, since the police officers did not speak the best English and Wills Finnish? Not quite up to scratch. :) Heikki assures me Will is alive and well...ish, he is indeed in a jail cell and should be out at 1pm.

Heikki takes me for coffee and we go get a big feed of chinese to give to our hungry convict when he finally gets realised. We walk into the station. Heikki talks to that scary copper in Finnish, strangley now hes speaking to Heikki he couldn't be more accommadating! We find out Will has alreday been realised... we wait outside and soon see him walking round the corner, double whopper in one hand, pack of fries in the other.

The outlaw explains to us that the police ended up being very nice about everything, they told him he had a court case in a weeks time, that he would be sentanced by the judge, fined and his licensed would be revoked. The sargent then gave him a cheeky grin and whispered 'if I was you, I would make sure I was out of Finland by then and on my way somewhere else! So in short... our little criminal gets away SCOTT FREE! Well not counting the half a day lost in a dingy little jail cell and his very unpleasant toilet experince within it :)

We wolf down our Chinky and do a quick tour of the city. Its very typical Finnish, 50's influenced with a lovley canal running through the centre and lots of nice, green park areas.

Heikki has organised for us to visit his sisters parents-in-law for a much needed afternoon of relaxation. An afternoon on the family farm! We meet the folks, the mum the ultimate farmers wife stays inside cooking and baking for our evening meal whilst the farmer, another Heikki takes us on a tour of the grounds. Heikki No 1 spends the entire afternoon playing interpretor, as Heikki No 2 doesn't speak a word of English :)

The entire property is like a historical museum. Theres an restored old house, maybe 200 years old, in perfect condition. Its has the tinest door way and low ceilings, the boys have to duck to get in. Theres one main sleeping quarter for the entire family and one other living area for everything else, no running water or bathroom. The whole thing is the size of an average lounge nowadays, its kept in fabulous condition by the couple, now used as a guest house. Again, the main farm house is spectacular, with all the country comforts and homeley touches.

We head out to explore the property, we climb the tower-like seed mill and venture through the huge sheds before heading out to explore the near by fields and visit our first ever swomp! The swomp is basically a flooded field, covered in a thick array of mosses and shrubbery. We spend an exhausting hour trugding along, the watery moss swallowing our wellies, its like walking through a field of chewing gum. Squelch, slosh, squirt... we try and jump on patches of hard grasses and shrubs to stop from beng sucked down into the swamp, loosing a shoe or ending up with a face of muddy water when we miss judge our steps! :)

Next, we have a proper smoke sauna, its a huge wooden box with a furnance. It gets filled with hot, black, smoke and then when the door is opened the smoke dissapates and the room is left as a smoky hot box... the smoke sauna. Its the most stunning setting imaginable, the sauna has been built in the middle of the forest, a hardwood decking joins the sauna to a man made lake, we spend the afternoon sauning and dipping in the freezing waters...its just spectacular!!!

We finish the day with a delicous country meal, featuring the most delectable salmon quichey thing I have ever eaten!! I love the country! We head off for a much needed nights kip.

The next day we explore the capital city, Helsinki. The city is a mish mash of stunning medieveil buildings, grey 50's industrialism and the modern, similar to Turku, and even Tampere. Its bustling and busy, but without a specific style or era that jumps out at you. Its a real mix of old and new and all that comes in between and it seems the cities aren't the only thing that are a real mix, the radio stations are too! A complete hot pot of the old and the current... a Britney Spears or Beyonce hit then perhaps some hard core rock or a duv duv dance track, next maybe something from the 60's, the Beetles perhaps or the Beach Boys, some 70's, 80's, 90's thrown in for good measure and in between all of that? A little light country of course! Al la Dolly Parton!

The only thing that does seem to have a definitive style is the clothing! Its a tourist attraction onto itself... 80's heavy metal rockers, Madonna style netted body wear, painted red and white skulls and cross bones on jeans and jackets, its like you've stepped into a time machine! Checked, flanney shirts, saftey pin accesories, mohawks and greasy ponytails for the boys, and the girls.. every colour hair imaginable, usually matched perfectly by an entire outfit of the same vibrant colour :) and then there was thta one guy who had what looked like an amazonial tribal nose piercing - a long piece of pure white bone shoved through the centre of his nostrels, coming out as far as his ears!

With our bags packed and our minds filled with the most fabulous memories of our trip to Scandinivia, we bid farewell to the land of snow and saunas. Me and my convict, starting on the long treturous journey back to Botany Bay... via the UK, Europe and America of course :)