yorkshireman-on-tour travel blog

Eddie holding his cup for winning the dinghy race

I met and became very good friends with the star of the season so far on the last flotilla. A 6yr old lad from Ilkley (of course he had to be a Yorkshireman), Eddie. For some reason the fact that I have not had a girlfriend since I have been out here as become an issue so he took it upon himself to get me one, in fact as it turned out he was responsible for the shot putter coming onto me, but I can forgive him for that! We were storm bound in one place so everybody was talking about hiring bikes and scooters and the likes. Eddie piped up Gary can hire a girlfriend, when I asked how long for he replied "2 ½ years", he clearly doesn't understand my history with relationships! He then started to set out the criteria for a girlfriend which is as follows including spelling;

Black or Blond long hair

No glasses

Nice eyes

Nice nose

Cute bottom

No hair on arms or legs

2 children or 3

and No willy!!

I sailed with them for a day and in a lull in the conversation he goes "Gary" " Yes Eddie" "how big is your pension?", not sure how his mind worked. He also wanted me to have a sleepover on his boat, I have to move to Ilkley when I move back to the UK and he is going to find me a house. His Dad broke his big toe in an accident whilst out here, but he thought it was dislocated and being a Dr I thought he knew what he was on about. So when he asked me to pull it back in I was delighted, never done that before, apparently I was full of unhealthy enthusiasm for the job. The clientele for this flotilla as definitely gone down hill, we have one family who look like the family out of 'Shameless', we reckon they have been sent out on when of them Council holidays for problem people!! Hope all is well in the UK, only 2 more flotillas after this one and I will be coming home. Take care all. Gary x

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