Email invitation sent out by my Departures Coordinator, Matt...
Positively priceless! If you can make it let him know! The more the merrier :)
EXCLUSIVE OFFER - ACT NOW!!!
The event to top the priority calender in 2006 is about to come to the Central Coast. A once in a lifetime experience that will capture your memories, reveal your tears and grasp at the toughest of hearts! The event where we will see the Terrigal love child, leave on an epic adventure around some of the world's most popular countries including; Mexica, Africa, Thailand and many, many more. The day we say bon voyage to the gorgeous, lovely, sensational.... Jade PETERS.
On May the 30th, 1977, Jade came into this crappy world we call earth. From that day on the world became colourful and vibrant. It was would no longer be crappy ion the company of Jade. Most of all, in the years to come, things would become... frivolous and spontaneous! In the next 12 months from her birth, Jade's mother was the first to see her make those ever so crucial first steps in life. Now it can be your turn to watch Jade take her next ever so crucial steps on September the 23rd, 2006 when she embarks on her national journey, through the gates and into the unknown.
Have the chance to watch Jade lead from her high rise balcony in Campbell Crescent, and board her first escort and transport vehicle to the Sydney Airport while passing the glorious landscapes such as the Harbour Bridge, Opera House, and not to forget the ever famous roadworks at Atarmon and the toll gates of hell!
You will then arrive at Sydney airport terminal in comfort and style. Here you will witness and take part in all attempts to detain Jade before she is to leave our lives for the following four (4) months. Needless to say, all attempts will fail regardless of what avenues are taken, and you will be then recruited into the escort party to guide her on these first steps.
WARNING WARNING..... ATTEMPTS ONLY WILL BE TOLERATED. ANY ACTUAL DETAINMENT WILL RESULT IN YOU BEING DRAGGED BEHIND THE VEHICLE AT SPEED ON THE RETURN TO THE COAST.... NAKED!! WHERE ON RETURN TO THE COAST YOU WILL HAVE ALL THE BEER, PIZZA, MONEY, FIRST AID AND OINTMENTS YOU DESIRE. NOT TO FORGET, A HEARTLY PAT ON THE BACK FOR TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM!
SO... dont forget to pack your tissues, hankies, buckets, change of clothes, handcuffs, ropes, chains and mascara. (Previous adventures have found tears will damage the applied make up). Bring your humour, your heart, and what ever else you can find to make Jade's farewell and first steps easier for her. All acts and efforts will be compensated on the return journey by a BIG group hug after we finish our breakfast at McDonalds. Then we will all return to Campbell Crescent where we will watch an exclusive viewing of 'Glamorous Life Lover' as we curl up in each other's arms!
Date: Saturday the 23rd of September 2006
Loc: 36 Campbell Crescent Terrigal
Time: 6am (to arrive latest 7:30am) not there, no go!
The limosine seats 12 people. With the driver (yours truly) and Jade taken up 2 of them. There is a remaining 10 seats, and ladies and gentleman let me tell you... these wont last!!!!! 1 of these seats will remain unoccupied for comfort, upon future discussion with the Princess, a 2nd seat may be sacrificed for the same purpose.
All you have to do is reply with definite numbers and your seating will be allocated. All seating arrangements will then be confirmed with Jade pending any gifts or bribes I suggest you offer her.
BE WARNED! I have already turned down a number of applicants. Miss out on this, and you will be forced to join the other 20,000 people I have arranged travel in via a shipping container with no windows or air. A second vehicle will be carrying the HMAS Buddha Bar which has agreed to follow Jade throughout her journey. Seatings on this vehicle are full.
And no, you can not fit in her backpack you idiots. She's 45 kilos wringing wet, how will she carry you???? Besides, the zipper already broke when I tried.
I await your replies with anticipation.